New Year’s Eve is coming at the speed of light. Although we have to celebrate Christmas in prior, I actually don’t have much excitement for this romantic festive season and only look forward to wrapping my 2025 up in an Instagram reel with a critically selected song.
Song of the Year 2024
Last year, I chose a calm and sad song, called ‘4 seasons (1.12)’ by YoungB/ Yang Hong-won, to represent a year full of farewells. It was an eventful year with so many achievements and changes in my social circle, so the experience was a bit overwhelming, therefore confusing my emotions and leaving me lonely at the end, as I couldn’t break my mental mess down into words with anyone. We were all at a busy stage, so I understood, and chose a song with a punchline saying:
The only things that come back to me are the 4 seasons.
I highly recommend you to have a try at that melodic rap track. Or you can wait for me because I’m writing a poem for this song.
2025
This year has been way too different from the last 4 years, those 4 years of being a student. Back then, I was constantly consumed with my life for being a responsible club president, a passionate event organiser, a teacher’s pet in every class, and a lovesick girl. But in 2025, I graduated and took a gap year before a Master’s degree, so it was a year with fewer schedules, deadlines, and less pressure.
Fortunately, I find 2025 lazy yet fruitful overall. I had wonderful professional work experiences in diverse contexts and answered the most important question: what profession do I want to pursue? For those who haven’t known, I will study a sport-related degree in 2026 and pursue a career in the sport industry. Even though people don’t regularly relate sports to academics, I feel the need to study sports as a crucial section of anthropology, a lucrative playground for business and media, or what I like the most, an instrument of diplomacy. But you know what, the fact that I don’t get sleepy working in a gymnasium already made me realise it’s the right workplace. I was blessed in 2025 to have the opportunities to work with Volleyball Federation of Vietnam, Kamito, and professional athletes, not only in volleyball, but also in pickleball, tennis, badminton, and football. I was also very lucky to become friends with people in the industry and start to feel a bit… belonged?
Feeling belonged… is a concept that has haunted me.
Apart from these part-time jobs, I have been studying languages and preparing my academic profile, which included writing research and participating in competitions. To be honest, I had a lot of free time — an ideal condition for my murky thoughts to overgrow. I sincerely envy just-do-it people, who understand the 80-20 Pareto rule and strictly concentrate on 1~2 of what they can do. That’s athletic!
The huge amount of free time made me question if I really belong to sports.
What if no federation wants to hire me? What if I don’t get to work abroad? What if education is all a waste of money? A lot of what-ifs popped up and they got more and more ridiculous. What if I will be unemployed my whole life? What if life takes a disastrous turn? What if no one talks to me at the next university? Blah blah blah. You see where it was going. Then, I come up with the worst conclusion every time falling into the loop: I have done it all wrong. My life is messed up. But what should I have done if I went back in time? No idea. Maybe I should have done nothing. Maybe I should have not existed.
Like woah, I literally went from FOMO in the sports industry to questioning my whole existence. “Why was I born?” Life springs that philosophical question on me all the time, and to be honest, this kind of debate doesn’t help at all.
I hope you guys don’t have to suffer from this annoying train of thoughts, but at the same time, I hope I’m not alone. I’m so, so broke like someone just robbed me. I’m no invincible. I have much memory of getting more weaker. Know I’m not lovable, but you know what you have to say.
Not in the right mood to sleep for most of the days.
Song of the Year 2025
Although I’ve just cited a piece of lyrics in Baek Ye-rin’s ‘Square 2017’, I have another choice for 2025’s year-end song. And it is ‘Regret of the Times’ originally by Seo Taiji and Boys, but I’ll choose the 2024 remake version by my expired love, aespa.
Hmm… It’s the right year to choose an aespa song because there will be no aespa in my future; 2025 is my last aespa year. If you haven’t known, aespa has been my main source of inspiration and a big part of my identity for the last 5 years. I even learned by heart the script of SYNK Karina, practised singing, rapping, and dancing to nearly all of aespa discography, from SYNK (member introductions) to Whiplash album (2024), and I’ve spent so much money and effort on them. My contribution was surely not that influential compared to fellows in the fandom, but enough to gain the right of expressing disappointment. I really appreciate my friends for taking my fandom leave seriously because aespa’s multifaceted downfall indeed punched me in the face and had a long-lasting effect until now when I’m writing this. I just want to share the key takeaway from this heartbreak anniversary: No celebrity deserves your heart.
Dramatic throwback is done. It’s time for the song, which is still my 2nd favourite aespa track and an OG in my KPop playlist.
‘Regret of the Times’ is a powerful 1996 song by South Korean music pioneers Seo Taiji and Boys, known for its anti-establishment lyrics about societal oppression and the longing for change. The remake version of aespa in 2024 keeps the grunge rock sense, with a brighter sensation, more up-to-date elements, a more hiphop arrangement, and some new and English lyrics (Nick 2024).
Audio
Instrumental
Of course, I genuinely don’t have any anti-establishment intention towards Vietnam’s central government party so don’t get me wrong. You know I feel more than lucky to live in my country and geopolitical matters in 2025 have proven this.
I like the song firstly because of its music genre, unique arrangement, and aespa’s vocals plus pronunciation. Secondly, my feelings resonate with the lyrics due to the disappointments I had about society this year and my existential crisis as I explained above. Thirdly, the song is highly valuable for its rock and novel expressions of these rough feelings about gigantic matters of the times, rather than personal problems. It is exactly that helpless and belittled feeling when a youngster loses hope for his/her big world and cannot do anything about it. Fourthly, the song made me cry several times, especially when I heard the last lines of lyrics, where they make a wish for me and tell me how these burdens can be relieved.
Let’s only look at aespa version’s lyrics.
거, 짜식들 되게 시끄럽게 구네
그렇게 거만하기만 한 주제에 (yeah)
거짓된 너의 가식 때문에 너의 얼굴 가죽은 꿈틀거리고
Damn, those punks won’t shut up. They’re full of nothing but arrogance. Your lies and your fake-ass acts made the skin of your face all crawl up.
나이 든 유식한 어른들은 예쁜 인형을 들고 거릴 헤매다니네
모두가 은근히 바라고 있는 그런 날이 바로 오늘 올 것만 같아
Educated old adults are lost in the streets, holding pretty dolls on their hands. The day everyone secretly longs for – it feels like today might be that day.
검게 물든 입술, 정직한 사람들의 시대는 갔어
숱한 가식 속에 오늘은 아우성을 들을 수 있어
Lips stained black, the era of honest people has gone. Amid countless layers of hypocrisy, today, you can hear the screams.
왜, 기다려왔잖아? 모든 삶을 포기하는 소리를
이 세상이 모두 미쳐버릴 일이 벌어질 것 같네
Why? Haven’t we been waiting for this? The sound of giving up on all of your life? It feels like the whole world is on the verge of going mad.
부러져 버린 너의 그런 날개로 넌 얼마나 날아갈 수 있다 생각하나?
모두를 뒤집어, 새로운 세상이 오길 바라네
It will come tonight again, I will break the every vice
It will come tonight again, we will see the new moon light
With those shattered wings, how far do you think you’ll make it? We will flip everything upside down, hoping for a new world to come.
너의 심장은 태워 버리고 너의 그 날카로운 발톱들은 감추고
돌이킬 수가 없는 과거와 모두가 잘못되어 가고 있는데!!!
You burn away your heart and hide those sharp claws of yours. With an irreversible past, everything is going wrong!!!
Now that time’s the end 벌어진 네 틈에 가시를 꽂아놔
나도 모르게 묶인 내가 날 수 있게 다 풀어줘 멀리 더 불어줘 날
At night, the sun shines on the moon and me at the same time
If you hide me, I won’t stay calm in my playground
Stick thorns to the cracks you left open. I am trapped and I don’t know that. Release me so that I can fly, and blow me far away, and further away. At night, the sun shines on the moon and me at the same time. If you hide me, I won’t stay calm in my playground.
왜, 기다려왔잖아? 모든 삶을 포기하는 소리를
이 세상이 모두 미쳐버릴 일이 벌어질 것 같네
바로 오늘이 두 개의 달이 떠오르는 밤이야
니 가슴에 맺힌 한을 풀 수 있기를
Why? Haven’t we been waiting for this? Why are you saying that you will give up on all of your life? It looks like the whole world is on the verge of going crazy. Today is the day when 2 moons will rise up on the sky so I hope that you can finally let go of that deep, long-held han.
Han is the word that cannot be translated into English. It is really close to or takes the Chinese character 恨 (hèn/ hận), which mainly refers to hatred, resentment, or grievance. However, han is distinctly a big Korean cultural and emotional concept, so to comprehend the lyrics’ meaning from a foreign personal viewpoint, I will only focus on some of its definitions. I need to emphasise the fact that I am a foreigner, so the han rooted from Korean history and nationalism is irrelevant to me, in this blog.
The theologian Suh Nam-dong described han as “a feeling of unresolved resentment against injustices suffered, a sense of helplessness because of the overwhelming odds against one, a feeling of acute pain in one’s guts and bowels, making the whole body writhe and squirm, and an obstinate urge to take revenge and to right the wrong – all these combined” (Yoo 1988).
In short, it is the sense of having been “wronged” by a superior agent. Naturally, the agent varies. Sometimes it is fate and fortune, sometimes it is the government, sometimes it is business, sometimes it is family roles, that exercise “unjust” power upon oneself (Huer 2009).
It’s today
The part highlighted in blue is why I decided to choose this song as the SOTY 2025 and the BGM of my 2025 Recap video. It is also the part that has made me cry many times. Even when I have a normal or comparatively pleasant day, sitting down and listening to those sentences still hit very hard.
And I figured it out, right, I have always got han in my chest. Not the han that a Korean specifically feels, just a han that a person generally feels. I always feel guilty about past choices, not only the mistaken ones, but also the seemingly right ones because they indeed led to today’s reality where I still have a lot to fix. I always feel burdened by my own thoughts. I love myself for being a responsible and ethical person, but the way I see black and white makes me suspect myself too often.
And I do find life hard to live.
Powerful and famous people in the society are being unfair and I hate that they always look down on people without knowing enough to have an opinion. What’s even worse, this materialistic world makes belittled people worship people who they are belittled by. They all worship shallow values, because glams, flexing culture, social media, fame, follow statistics… have too much power that turns people into ugly frogs trapped in a well. These kinds of people, I hate it when they flap their lips, so I find myself in Verse 1: “Damn, those punks won’t shut up. They’re full of nothing but arrogance. Your lies and your fake-ass acts made the skin of your face all crawl up”.
I hate that the social structure imprisons people in small ideas and thus most of them miss the potential. I hate that rich, powerful men get to decide everyone’s life and death but I AM AMONG THE ONES who feel responsible for the pains they cause to humanity. I know people are starved and tortured, but what should I do about it? What CAN I do about it? And even if I spent a billion USD to rescue them, will anything actually change? I also hate that I sound ignorant asking these questions. Then I feel the guilt of not understanding enough history and politics. Thus, I also feel the guilt of stupidity but are we better off with or without knowing? Should we die trying or die stupid?
Every detail manifested in this sinful society makes me disdain living and unable to relax, resulting in this big thorn of han in my heart.
“We will flip everything upside down, hoping for a new world to come”
This song is talking about a day when people like me have the almighty power and reset the whole world. But it’s depressing to think that I, myself, might turn evil having such an ability, because it’s in the principles of power and money.
We all know Eren’s story, we all know that I can never be free. Still, that’s what I want the most after thinking back and forth: the world should be my oyster.
Then comes the part that makes me cry like a dog:
“Release me so that I can fly, and blow me far away, and further away. At night, the sun shines on the moon and me at the same time. If you hide me, I won’t stay calm in my playground”.
At the darkest time, the sun can recognise the moon and shed light on it. If you claim that you shine like the sun, why can’t you be aware of me? There are so many things I want to say about this rap line, but it’s too deep, digging it up might hurt. I always say 3 things that cannot be hidden for so long are the Sun, the Moon, and the Truth. Just like the routine of Sun and Moon, the Truth will have to reveal itself at the right time. And people will know the person I truly am, so there’s no rush in showing off what I’ve got. The realisation makes me choose to calmly obey the timing like the Moon that trusts the Sun to discover and illuminate her, even in the darkest era. But being the Moon does not mean quietly swallowing injustice, so if they hide me, I will not stay calm in my so-called “playground”.
“Why? Haven’t we been waiting for this? Why are you saying that you will give up on all of your life?”. When I heard this, my series of questions on life are brought out again. But in a good way, as if she’s scolding me for thinking nonsense. What I manifested today are my dreams from years ago, so why, even though walking on the right path, can’t I feel right and keep walking? Why do I think my life is all messed up? I don’t want to die, I just want to pause my existence sometimes. That’s just… stupid and the lyrics ask me to quit that nonsense. I have been waiting and working hard for this, haven’t I? Yes, remember that.
And they give me a solution.
“Today is the day when 2 moons will rise up on the sky so I hope you can finally let go of that deep, long-held han”. Ending the song with such sentences is clearly bringing the emotional peak. As I said, it is as if she was talking to me. I feel heard and understood, and I picture Winter standing in front of me, looking into my eyes, slightly smiling, and saying: “I wish you can finally release this han”. This sorrow, this resentment, this regret, this restlessness, this burden, this whatever… and I want to cry, no wonder why I felt such a profound connection with aespa.
Apart from heavy emotions, their solution to disaster is tailor-made for who’s gone maniac after choking on an excessively big disappointment about everything and nothing… It makes me laugh a little bit. You know what? If you want to solve this whole mess, wait for a day when 2 moons show up in the sky. The day that never comes. But what if there’s one day? And it might be today. Winter said it’s today. There will surely be a day when I can get rid of han and help people I want to help.
Finally, when I am wandering among ideas of possibilities, Giselle wraps up the song by one short sentence, just to remind me that “it’s today”.
List of Nominees
Initially, I wanted to choose ‘9 Days’ because it contains my story: working throughout weekends so a week feels like 9 days. It still drives my emotions hard, especially when Sohee and Wonbin sing “이감정들은truth 나계속움직이는이유”, meaning “these feelings are the truth, which is the reason why I keep moving” (0:53). And finally, an outro filled with vocal power is definitely my taste in KPop songs, which is included in this song, Oh My Girl ‘1 step, 2 steps’ and BLACKPINK ‘Lovesick Girl’.
“I should have known~” (2:11)
And then I thought about iKON ‘Long Time No See’ since B.I’s rap verse (1:25) talks about him making his loved one wait for so long while he was chasing his dream and fulfilling his responsibilities. So much similarity to what I feel. But the hesitation between choosing B.I’s or Bobby’s verse makes me give up on the song. If it’s meant to be 2025 Recap song, it shouldn’t involve that much hesitation.
“끝내 지금의 내가 됐고 넌 여전히 아름답네 오랜만이야 많이 그리웠어”
“I have finished it and this is who I am now. You still remain just as beautiful. It’s been a long time and I missed you so much.”
I like ‘Moment’ because Matthew raps a beautiful description of the girl he likes in his 2 verses, and I felt that way in 2025. However, I’ve sadly grown out of this kind of teenage instrumental, I mean, it’s too bright and simple for me now. But you should give it a try. Positivity is spread right from the first lines:
“My girl is the kinda person everyone likes
She can fix up or just hang with the guys
Could be the pretty girl that you see at the mall
Or if you ever need advice, she’s the person to call”
‘Vancouver’ has beautiful storytelling in its rap, making me thinking about choosing it a lot. But overall, lyrics still have numerous irrelevant details — making it unsuitable for my recap. Anyway, my favourite line is
“아마그때부터였던것같아
너에대한내집착이심해져갈때마다온너의연락한통이나를얼마나미치게했는지너는절대로절대로절대로, 절대로, 절대로모를거야”
“I think that’s when it started. Every time my obsession with you grew stronger, how a single message from you drove me insane — you will never, never, never, never, never ever know”
(2:07)
Maybe there will be a year when I date a Canadian guy, then I will have enough reasons to use this song.
‘Animal Crossing’ is an unofficially released song by Millennium (YG Entertainment’s former trainee and producer) and his pals, so it lands me in inconvenience with copyright. But even if there’s no audio problem, the song does not have enough intersection with my life. “Gotta leave the past in past; it’s the time we’re never getting back” (0:39) with a very pleasant melody. Plus, his last line before hook saying “Let’s cross this road” (0:30) with sweet, tired boyfriend materials has romanticised the activity of crossing a road for me.
Finally, I got some OG legendary VPop tracks from the 2010s. Firstly, it’s ‘She Neva Knows’ by Justatee, describing changes in life and from his girlfriend when she loses all her feelings. So she never knows his effort and she will never know what’s going to happen with her numb emotions.
‘Cơn Mưa Ngang Qua’ by M-TP is one of the most nostalgic entertainment product. And to be honest, this song’s melodies, flows, and lyrics are impressively recognisable, especially for Vietnamese people in my generation. The song describes his relationship as a downpour passing by his life. When everything was happening, it felt like a forever rain that soaked him desperately and he couldn’t see any sign of relief. However, when it’s all over, she came and went just like a quick storm. It was short and he felt empty after all.
The last song is ‘Mưa Cứ Rơi’ by Mr. A and Wxrdie, also talking about rains, and the title means “the rain keeps falling down”. Wow, very lovesick of me to relate hard to rainy songs. I like this track because it’s hiphop with rock elements in the background. Mr. A also uses rare vocabulary (that even rhymes) compared to other pop songs, with a somewhat strange sentence structure. Finally, it’s Mr.A’s dry vocal at the end that makes the song emotional and unique.
These 3 songs are honey to my ears but unfortunately, they’re just about love, thus not meaningful enough to be year recap music.
10 Years of SOTY
2016: Martin Garrix ‘Virus’ (2014)
2017: Zico ‘Bermuda Triangle’ (ft. Crush, DEAN) (2016)
2018: K.J. Apa, Camila Mendes & Lily Reinhart ‘Mad World’ (2017)
2019: NCT Dream ‘We Go Up’ (2018)
2020: TREASURE ‘Going Crazy‘ (2020)
2021: Ash Island ‘Error’ (2020)
2022: The Neighbourhood ‘Softcore’ (2018)
2023: The Boyz ‘Salty’ (2020)
2024: Young B ‘4 seasons (1.12)’ (2021)
2025: aespa ‘Regret of the Times’ (2024)
Last words
I hope all you take away is some song recommendations and some of my thoughts if they make sense to you. I know we shouldn’t focus on hatred, but “hate” is the most repeated word in this blog, I’m afraid. Thank you very much for reading all the “hate”s that I typed down. For me, writing is a practice of releasing negative emotions and making room for better ones. Please don’t inherit my negativity, anyway. I may have too many pessimistic ideas but don’t worry because I won’t transform them into harmful acts. I’m just an INTJ.
The luckiest one,
The luckiest one,
The luckiest one in the world (haha),
McKenzie
aespa (15 January 2024) ‘시대유감 Regret of the Times (时代遗憾)’ [YouTube video], aespa, accessed 17 December 2025. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4Ag77XSVYI&list=RDF4Ag77XSVYI&start_radio=1
Huer J (22 March 2009) ‘Psychology of Korean Han’, The Korea Times, accessed 17 December 2025. https://www.koreatimes.co.kr/opinion/20090322/psychology-of-korean-han
Nick (15 January 2024) ‘Song Review: aespa – Regret of the Times’, The Bias List, accessed 17 December 2025. https://thebiaslist.com/2024/01/15/song-review-aespa-regret-of-the-times/
Yoo B (1988) Korean Pentecostalism: Its History and Theology, University of Michigan, Peter Lang.
Hearts die Herzen 
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